Kyria

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I Thought You Ought to Know That ...

Carl called me aside after Sunday school class. "You haven't seen much of Pete lately, have you?" he asked. Before I responded, he said, "I thought you ought to know that you offended him by something you said."

"Offended him?" I wondered what I could have done.

"One Sunday he tried to get into the church office and the door was locked. You came by and said, "That's the first time I ever saw you trying ...

Related Topics: Conflict resolution, Confrontation, forgiveness

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Great Question: When is it okay to leave a church?

When is it okay, even healthy, to leave a church? I'm struggling at my church, but I've attended it for a long time and feel guilty about possibly looking for another congregation.

I applaud you for even pondering this question. All too often God's people switch loyalties from one church to another with the same amount of deliberation they give to what kind of fast food they'll eat for lunch! Yet choosing ...

Related Topics: Changing Churches, Church involvement, Church Search, Cliques

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Open Circle

The sound of their laughter carried across the crowded lobby one Sunday morning after church, as one of the women in the group momentarily glanced in my direction. I read her glance and smile as an invitation to join them.

"How are you all this morn—"

Another wave of laughter rippled around the group, swallowing the rest of my greeting. I tried gently inject-ing myself into the conversation, but ...

Related Topics: Church involvement, Cliques, Friends, Friendship, Lessons Learned

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Personality Clash!

Although I hadn't yet spent much time with her, I admired "Sarah." I could learn a lot from her, since I was a new missionary and she'd served overseas for years. She was energetic, decisive, resourceful, and confident. Most importantly, she loved the Lord and wanted to make her life count for eternity.

I can't remember exactly when my feelings toward Sarah began to change, but as the weeks progressed, ...

Related Topics: Conflict, Enemies, Ministry Leaders, Relationships, Difficult

The Tithing Challenge

Testing God is usually discouraged by pastors and churches. After all, there are pretty good reasons for avoiding the practice. In Matthew 4:7 Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy: "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" In the book of Acts, after discovering some questionable donations, the apostle Peter asks a woman named Sapphira, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the ...

Crossing the Divide

One thing is sure: None of us is born a racist.

We are, however, born with the ability to perceive differences—in sounds, colors, shapes, and sizes. Noticing those differences (I'm taller than you; you have white skin and I have brown) is an inherent capability, but forming attitudes about them (It's better to be tall; it's better to be white) is imparted. Our friends, family, and culture teach ...

Give 'Em a Break

Four years ago I walked away from the ministry.

According to statistics, it's a surprise more pastors don't. The Alban Institute estimates that 17 percent of pastors are experiencing burnout. A study of one major denomination concluded that less than one-third of its pastors were happy in their work. Another 30 percent were "deeply ambivalent" about ministry. And 40 percent described themselves as ...

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The Dust Rag Prayer

As words of pain poured from my friend Jenny's lips, I listened helplessly. She'd recently discovered her husband was in love with another woman. I didn't know what else to do but put my arms around her and pray. Yet while I strongly believe in the power of prayer, my promise to pray for her seemed like an easy way out. I wished I could do more to help.

The next morning, I drove over to Jenny's ...

Related Topics: Friends, pain, Prayer, Service